Goodbye Annus Horribilis

Although world famous blogspot Papasgotabrandnewblog follows the Chinese New Year tradition with more interest than the Roman calendar, midnight on December 31st is still a good date to chase out the ghosts, turn over those new leaves, and reflect on the last 12 months. In terms of news, the first "scoop" of the year "Blog Editor to Sack Himself" wasn't even true but still managed to clock up a healthy 17 comments. This out-did the number for an original photo of a captive cheetah from Wellington Zoo which managed a measly 2 comments. Funnily enough, this is the same number as the epic photo piece "A Family Affair" (March) and the PGABNB endorsement of Naturally Fresh Deodorant Crystal (May. Obviously, the year was dominated by The Royal Wedding (April thru July) and a number of new arrivals in the shape of Amelie, Isla & Pixie (although despite the coverage these and other youngsters received they haven't repaid it with a single comment!). 2011 was definitely video year: Joe C set the ball rolling back in February, followed by Experiment SH1310 in March & Bristol based artist Colin H in June. Further videos made the Papasgotabrandnewblog pages in July/August in the shape of The Wedding We'll Never See by up and coming New Zealand outfit the Hope Higgies, and the Danny & the Uncles White Wedding (Watch Out!) video single, both Royal Wedding tributes. Another 3 videos; Freight Train Demo - in August - Kat Eyes and Diamonds - in September all by experimental musician Experiment SH1310, failed to capture the public's attention amassing an embarrassing 9 comments in total. Arguably the most shocking story of the year was Bristol Toddler Exchanges New Sister For Gorilla Spiderman, a saga that kept the public enthralled during the latter days of the British summer. As always there were a lot of birthdays which were generally celebrated on the corresponding date despite the occasional editorial hiccup. The Seven Year's Hitched anniversary post with original prose was deemed uncommentworthy by the majority of the PGABNB readership with only 5 comments including a rather nasty one from, we suspect, a Mr Pepe Idontkerr, a notorious old-school school teacher in the Barrow-in-Furness region who delights in bullying his pupils (so much so that he is reported to be cross-eyed). The most depressing point of the year for the PGABNB team was the lack of comments on September's One of those days post. The call for musical relief and enlightenment pulled in a solitary comment (obviously coming from full time comment writer Ms Bird from Bristol who constantly keeps the comment flag flying). The Papasgotabrandnewblog editor was particularly cut up by November's Blog Edit Knifed report, not in the least because it should have read Blog Editor Knifed but you just can't find decent staff these days. All in all, from a blog point of view this was a bit of an Annus Horribilis (especially for comments) and we are quite happy to see the back of it. Furthermore, to end on a low point, Papasgotabrandnewblog didn't hit the 10,000 hit mark. However, looking on the bright side, there's still the chance of getting there before the Chinese New Year which starts on Jan 23rd. Get those fingers clicking!! You can begin now by voting for post of the year! This post is accompanied by a not-quite-finished-yet, never-seen-before, nonsense experimental video project called LightseekerZ

Bristol Builder Blasts Blogspot

Bristol builder Geddie H has blasted world famous blogspot Papasgotabrandnewblog for allegedly missing his birthday. The irate handyman claims that the lack of birthday coverage was a deliberate blight on his good character and is looking into the possibility of taking legal action against the popular online internet site which has notched up close to 9,400 hits since its humble beginnings back in 2006.
“I’m getting sick of this” said the fuming father-of-two. “Just because my birthday is close to Christmas people think they can get away with giving me just one greeting and one present” he added. “This has been going on since day one and it’s got to stop. Even my daughters get more coverage than I do and it’s not fair” a frustrated Geddie is claimed to have said.
Apparently, the barmy builder is also annoyed at a recent comment about his eldest daughter’s rendition of “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star” on a well known social network site. “If it’s good enough for Simon Cowell, it should be good enough for some poxy blog reporter with deaf ears” he reportedly ranted and raged.
When quizzed on the lack of birthday greeting, a spokesperson for world famous blogspot Papasgotabrandnewblog could muster no more than a puzzled “Geddie who?”

Lording it up on his birthday!

Lord Clibery of Clifton celebrates his 140th birthday today. We send him a special papasgotabrandnewblog birthday greeting.
When asked about the secret behind his longevity the lazy Lord replied that if one wants to live to a ripe old age one should marry a supermum (or two!). Apparently, one marries the second one when the first one has worked herself to death.

Supermum Wiped Out

Supermun Lucy Clibery is celebrating her birthday today despite feeling a little run down. Apparently one of her “darling creatures” put Green Kryptonite in the butter-dish yesterday prompting a “wiped out” comment on facebuck. At the time of going to press world famous blogspot papasgotabrandnewblog is unsure whether it’s Supermum Lucy herself who was wiped out or whether she took revenge on the naughty nippers and showed them who runs the roost. Either way, we wish her all the best and hope she has a wonderful day.
Today’s birthday themed photo shows Lucy’s brother Ollie trying to demonstrate his own superpowers by eating a violin in order to thwart a group of dangerous criminal types whilst his supermum sister looks on and offers superhero type tips.

i.c.u

Florence Nightingale impersonator, Bea J, is up to her old tricks again. This time she's gone and got herself trapped in a reflection. As always, world famous blogspot Papasgotabrandnewblog was on hand to call the Fire Brigade.

Happy Birthday Terri

Super Gran Terri C (otherwise known as the Big Boss of the notorious Higginson Clan) celebrates her birthday today. World famous blogspot Papasgotabrandnewblog pays its respects and wishes her a wonderful, fantabulous, fun-filled day.

Blog Edit Knifed!!

The editor of world famous blogspot papasgotabrandnewblog is set to go under the knife this Wednesday at about 19.00 (Chilean time) in a daring attempt to get in shape to play for the Great Britain Football team in the London Olympics 2012.
After hearing the news that a GB team would be entering the competition the Welsh born central midfielder decided to come to his nation's aid and make sure Blighty wins the gold. The first stage of the comeback is a double inginal hernia op that should see "The Duracell" back in business in a matter of weeks.
Let's hope nothing goes amiss! You all know what happened to Stevie G.

Breakfast Fit for a King

Bea & I went to the Vega Central yesterday. It's amazing, and to think I only discovered it 2 weeks ago!

This morning for breakfast we had avocado on toast followed by mango, cherries and banana.

Killer breakfast fit for a King paid for from a beggar's pocket.

Happy Birthday George

What more could a Grandfather/Great-Grandfather ask for on his birthday?

Seven Years Hitched!

Although sometimes things may go amiss,
its been seven years of wedded bliss.
Through thick and thin, through good & bad,
I thank you for the fun we've had.

Thank you my darling moonshine.
I love you.

(Editor's note: Normal service will be resumed shortly)

Honey Happy Three

Three photos to celebrate Honey's third birthday:)

Beautiful Bea Blogged

Go on, give us a smile!!!

Non-Stop-Party-People

Happy Papasgotabrandnewblog Bithday greetings to the International Birthday People!

Bristol - Droitwich - Paekakariki

ps. Does anybody have a photo of the birthday bunch together!!!!!!

UK Scientists Discover New Power Source

News has been leaked to world famous blogspot papasgotabrandnewblog that British scientists working in the Bristol area are close to harnessing a new power source that they believe will be the answer to World energy problems. According to reports, the energy is produced by a young girl called Maya Eve of Destruction who celebrated her 3rd birthday at the weekend. Apparently, Maya is constantly vibrating, even when sleeping, and this process creates huge amounts of energy which the toddler then releases during her waking hours by zipping about the place in a manner which can only be described as a “Duracell bunny on fast-forward.”
Papasgotabrandnewblog tried to interview the nifty nipper on her birthday but her exhausted parents were unable to get the youngster to standstill for more than a millisecond. Likewise, papasgotabrandnewblog’s top photographer was unable to get a decent shot of the charming child.
A spokesman for the team of scientist stated that although they have had difficulty keeping up with the tiny tot they hope to make a breakthrough in the coming weeks and find a way to extract and store little Maya's energy.

Happy Birthday Danny!

October is now well and truely re-named the birthday month. Only halfway through and already the pages of world famous blogspot papasgotabrandnewblog are awash with bithday greetings. Today we send out a big birthday blogwish to Dan, Dan the family man who was XYZ years old yesterday:)

Robin Birthday Girl! Pedro Birthday Boy!

Today sees world famous blogspot papasgotabrandnewblog sending out double whammy birthday greetings to Robin (Oct 10th) and Pedro (Oct 11th).








ps. Don't forget to send us some cake!

What's in a Name?

According to reports from the Bristol area, Poppy Higginson, the baby at the centre of the "Baby Swapped for Plastic Gorilla Spiderman" scandal (exclusively reported some weeks back by world famous blogspot, papasgotabrandnewblog) has changed her name in a bid to distance herself from adverse publicity. However, her new chosen name "Pixie" seems to be having just the opposite effect. Large queues of young children have begun to gather outside the youngster's home amid rumours that the "ex-Poppy" is a real fairy-like creature that pixies are supposed to be and can actually grant wishes.

Not having much experience with "little people", papasgotabrandnewblog decided to investigate and uncovered the following information:

First of all, Pixies are often described as ill-clothed or naked. As the above photo clearly demonstrates, this is indeed the case with Poppy Pixie. In fact, her sister looks pretty ill-clothed too so we might actually have stumbled on a pixie colony or something!

Secondly, Pixies are "in-between", not cursed by God or especially blessed. Well, with the parents these girls have got they definitely qualify on that count (with a leaning towards the cursed as far as the father goes!!).

Thirdly, pixies are considered to be particularly concentrated in the areas around Devon and Cornwall. Well knock me down with a feather! Bristol's just up the road.

I think that's more than enough evidence for this blogspot.

What we need to know now is whether this is all part of some larger migrating pixie trend? If the government finds out they'll soon put a stop to that as they don't like travellers, especially if they're ill-clothed or naked. We suggest you get yourself down to Bristol sharpish and try your luck with those wishes!

BANNED!

Video Contains violent images not suitable for family blog.

Check it out on FBK.

One of those days!

Today is one of those days. What song should world famous blogspot papasgotabrandnewblog listen to to lift the spirits?

Recommendations in the comments box please:)

Don't Watch, Don't Listen, Don't Care

World famous blogspot Papasgotabrandnewblog is going to great lengths to encourage its 3.7 daily readers NOT to go to http://vimeo.com/29133437 and watch the new video release by ancient ambient psychedelic chill-out electro-sound shaper Experiment SH1310 after passing on the option of embedding the video despite owning exclusive rights to do so. A spokesperson for the world famous blogspot delivered the following statement:

“World famous blogspot Papasgotabrandnewblog would like to distance itself from Santiago based ancient ambient psychedelic chill-out electro-sound shaper Experiment SH1310 with immediate effect. Whilst we share the pre-apocalyptic, post-modernist, quasi-feminist fuelled vision portrayed by the artist in his current work, we feel that it is too outlandish for our mainstream readership especially given the recent results of scientific reseach that reports readership figures falling to an all-time-low of 3.7 viewers per day. Moreover, the comments section has been even harder hit. Whilst we loathe to make a scapegoat of anyone in particular we have lay the blame somewhere.”

In fact, the announcement comes just over a week after a failed world record comments attempt by the world famous blogspot which managed an embarrassing 38 comments in 7 days. Ironically, this figure did manage to break the record for the lowest number of comments on a world record comments attempt, undercutting the previous worst record (Simon Cowell’s birthday greetings on Facebook) by 3 votes. Some experts have speculated that the lack of comments is part of a worldwide comment recession whilst others point to apathy and general discontent on the part of the so called "couldn't care less" population.

Santiago based ancient ambient psychedelic chill-out electro-sound shaper Experiment SH1310 has yet to respond to the blogspot ban but band buddies believe blogspot boycotts bother bigger bands but barely bother beginning bands being banned.

In the long run only time will tell.

The Magic Number!

Scientific research carried out by world famous blogspot Papasgotabrandnewblog has revealed the astounding fact that daisy age funky rappers De La Soul got it wrong! Back in 1989 the 2nd longest serving Native Tongues Posse group claimed that 3 was the magic number on their award winning debut album 3 Feet High and Rising. However, in-depth research by Papasgotabrandnewblog has unearthed the fact that the true magic number is actually 3.7.
3.7 is the number of views per day that the award winning blog has pulled since its creation 2004* days ago on March 25th 2006. However, despite this grand revelation, the blogspot believes that the hard work has only just begun.
“We’re pretty sure we can identify the 3” explained a PGABNB spokesperson, “however, the difficult part is going to be discovering the identity of the remaining 0.7 of a person. Obviously, we need to do this in order to finish our research and publish our conclusions before we can expect to be taken seriously by the scientific community. We’re currently looking for a sponsor to help fund the research and we appeal to the international community to dig deep and send us some money.”
According to another unnamed source, the world famous blogspot is willing to except donations in pounds, dollars, gold and teabags!
References
http://www.convertunits.com/dates/

You can listen to the The Magic Number here:

Beautiful Bea's Birthday Blog

Today is Beautiful Bea's Birthday. This is her Beautiful Birthday Blog where you can leave birthday wishes for Beautiful Bea.

Video Star in Animal Cruelty Rumpus

The management team representing Kat, the star of the artistic collaboration between experimental musician Experiment SH1310 and experimental filmmaker David Lynch* were tight lipped today after false allegations of animal cruelty almost caused the postponement of the premiere of the animal actor’s latest production. The funky feline was a no show at the first public viewing of his latest mini feature film Kat Eyes and rumours of problems in the animal actor’s camp arose after a reporter for World famous blogspot Papasgotabrandnewblog overheard one of the management team state that the up-and-coming animal star was in a bad way because he had been “working without paws”.
Police had to be drafted in to restore order after upset fans, who had queued overnight to see the 9-minute plus mini masterpiece, got wind of the false news and started rioting having believed that the actor had been deliberately maimed.
The RSPCA arrived and resolved the matter with the minimum of fuss and the premiere eventually got underway a little over half-an-hour later than advertised.
The film, described by critics as a feast for eyes and ears, is a surrealist tour de force on par with the Dali/Buñuel collaboration Un Chien Andalou (An Andalusian Dog) but without the gory bits or the man bicycling in nun's clothing (or any people).



(*A David Lynch but not necessarily THE David Lynch)

Comment is Kool.....

Hot on the heels of its Breadwinner award, World famous blogspot Papasgotabrandnewblog is now trying to enter the Papasgotabrandnewblog book of world records by registering the highest number of comments on a single post. To participate, and become part of Papasgotabrandnewblog history, all you have to do is leave a comment (or 2 or 3!!).

Bread Winner

In the most blatant exhibition of blowing your own trumpet since Mohammed Ali last stepped into a ring, World famous blogspot, Papasgotabrandnewblog, is promoting its own success in the world's first blogspot bread making competition. Despite winning by default (there were no other competitors) the blog's backroom staff partied all night long.
However, a former employee of the blog, who refused to be named for legal reasons, claimed that the award was a cheap attempt to divert attention from the blog's involvement in the recent News of the World phone-tapping scandal.
The blog refused to comment on these allegations but did make the following victory statement:

"World famous blogspot Papasgotabrandnewblog would like to congratulate itself on winning such a prestigious competition. Our lack of publication in the last few weeks has nothing to do with anything so we won't even mention it. Ladies and gentlemen, please raise your glasses in a toast to bread!"

Train-ing!!!

Experimental musician Experiment SH1 has started experimenting with video. World famous blogspot Papasgotabrandnewblog is sort-of-proud to present his first work, the unfinished clip Freight Train Demo. This...ehem....interesting piece of work explores the space time continuum from a post modernist position by a means of the juxtaposition of sound and vision intertwined with the concepts of trains and the travelling bluesmen hobos of the early 20th century (whateverthatmeans!!!). Enjoy!

Dad in Doghouse: Bristol Builder Exposed

Bristol based builder Geddie H has been exposed as the mastermind behind the recently reported "New Sister for Gorilla Spiderman", as exclusively covered by world famous blogspot papasgotabrandnewblog. The devilish dad caused major controversy for originally trying to pin the blame on his toddler daughter Honey Rose although it’s now reported that he has come clean and admitted his guilt after a harsh tongue wagging from his (much) better half, Raggs H.
Earlier today the fiendish father hung his head as he left his family home in central Bristol. A small group of demonstrators who had gathering outside the property hurled abuse and chanted as the horrible hubby made his way to work.
“Evil man, evil man, swopped his daughter for a Spiderman“ chanted a pair of young adult females who refused to be named but said they had travelled down specially from the Droitwich area.
“Shame on you”, “How much for an extension?” and “Lend us your plastic gorilla Spiderman” were some of the other cries that taunted the barefaced builder.
No criminal changes have been brought against the dastardly dad but there are several reports that he has put all work on hold bar the construction of a large one-man-doghouse in the back yard of the idylic family home. Honey-Rose, the toddler at the centre of the scandal was unavailable for comment.
The whereabouts of Poppy Lou-Lou, the infant at the centre of the exchange deal are currently unknown but it’s believed that negotiations are underway for the swop deal to be reversed with Loot.com, the online business that oversaw the deal, claiming that they are confident a solution to satisfy all the parties involved is imminent.

Poppy Lou Lou, the toddler at the centre of the "baby swop scandal"

Bristol Todler Exchanges New Sister For Gorilla Spiderman

Honey and Poppy in happier times.

A youngster from Bristol has shocked her parents, friends and family by exchanging her new born sister for a large plastic gorilla in a Spiderman outfit. Little Honey Rose H (nearly 3) decided that she was getting the short end of the stick regarding recent household upheavals and took matters into her own hands. Having waited patiently for nine months for "a sister to play with" little Honey felt she was being short-changed and placed the following advert in Loot.com:
Exchange baby sister for toy. Almost new, sleeps, eats, poos a lot. All serious offers considered.
According to reports a local business saw the ad and offered a large plastic gorilla in a Spiderman suit in exchange for Honey's week old sister Poppy Lou Lou. Honey's distraught mother is frantically reviewing the legal ins & outs of the case but apparently the exchange was carried out within the guidelines laid down by Loot.Com and any reversal of the deal would depend on the goodwill of the buyer.
Father Ged, whilst disappointed, has come to terms with the situation and issued the following statement, "Whilst obviously upset at the loss of Poppy, I've always been a big fan of Spiderman and I suppose we've just got to get on with our lives."
He was last seen heading in the direction of the local park with both Homey and the large plastic gorilla in tow.

Happy Honey and her plastic gorilla Spiderman

Film Review: The Wedding We'll Never See

As reported exclusively in Monday's Royal Wedding Stop Press edition of world famous blogspot, Papagotabrandnewblog, the four and a half minute mini-masterpiece The Wedding We'll Never See by New Zealand actor turned director Ella Double H scooped best film award at the recent Royal Wedding Video Awards. This wonderful comedy drama, set in the outskirts of the little seaside village of Paekakariki (NZ), follows the plight of a kooky British family desperately making preparations for a wedding back in their beloved homeland that they're never going to get to.

There are some marvelous performances from the mainly amateur cast (in fact Double H is the only professional actor) and the characters, whilst somewhat quirky, are warm and believable: the disillusioned dad who believes his lame "party tricks* are suitable for such a sophisticated occasion, the fussing do-gooder mother frantically baking hundreds of profiteroles, the greedy thoughtless elder daughter who eats them all (beautifully underplayed in a wonderful minimalistic performance by Double H in possibly her finest piece of film work to date), and the whacky younger daughter, played with wit and charm by new found talent Freya Double H, who desperately seeks out the wedding venue to no avail.

Despite the low-budget, there are no punches pulled when it comes to special effects as demonstrated during the "jacket scene" where the amazing camera effects shrink the dotty dad to half his normal size. In fact, the camerawork is excellent throughout and once again credit must be given to Ella Double H for all her work both in front of the camera and behind the scenes in a piece of work that overshadows all her previous work to date and which, if there is any justice in the world, will firmly establish her as a force to be reckoned with in the New Zealand film industry.

Peter Jackson eat your heart out!

In a cunning attempt to pick up on some post-Royal Wedding blog traffic, cheeky Chilian Carolina W has decided to have a birthday today.

Many Happy Returns Soul Sister!

White Wedding Takes Best Original Song Prize

STOP PRESS! White Wedding, the mini-homage to newlyweds Dan & Luce from Bristol, has taken first prize in the Original Soundtrack category for this year's Royal Wedding Video Awards hosted by world famous blogspot Papasgotabrandnewblog. The cut n' splice job features a 30-year old plus vocal performance by the groom (Dan) and original music by the mystery founder of long lost psychedelic underground groovesters Danny & the Uncles. A spokesperson for the artist said "We're really chuffed to get this prestigious award. It makes all the hard work, blood, sweat and tears worth while." Whilst no official anouncement has been made, talk of a Danny & the Uncles reunion tour, possiblly as special guests of West Country Psycho Rockers John.E.Vistic, is being rumoured. The best picture Royal Wedding Video Award went to little known Kiwi outfit the Hope-Higginsons for their comedy drama The Wedding We'll Never See. A full report on the Royal Wedding and the Video Awards ceremony will appear in a special edition of Papasgotabrandnewblog.

Blog Spot Readership Away

Practically the entire readership of world famous blogspot papasgotabramdnewblog has shuffled off to spend the day together in a tent in the middle of nowhere.

If that isn't exclusive news I'll eat my hat!

For those readers who have spent the last few months in complete isolation, said tent job is to celebrate the not so holy matrimony of royal couple Dan & Luce, a pair of right royal....oh sorry must get the phone.

Congratulations to the hippy couple ...ehem .... happy couple!

(These "slips" of the finger are becoming more and more common - Ed.left hand)
(Who cares, it's only those ham actors in NZ & the missus reading - Ed.right hand)

Poppy Pops Out Early!

According to an official spokesperson, latest tribe member, Poppy Higginson, popped out earlier than expected as she doesn't want to miss out on her cousin's wedding.

World famous blogspot Papasgotabrandnewblog knows very little about poppies apart from the possible urban myths that they're generally red, there are lots of em and they can be potemtially dangerous. Additionally, a quick look on Wikipedia informs us that "Bees use poppies as a pollen source" so at least there's an obvious Honey connection.
Poppies are also a symbol of sleep and death. Just in case you're interested, Poppies in Spanish is Amapolas and the flower is used a lot in weddings in Puerta Rica.

Welcome to the family Poppy. Well done Raggs (and Ged!).

Never judge a book by its cover

Two long years after its completion, A Case Study on the Impact of Weblogs on the Writing of Low-Level Learners in the University of Chile by not-so-world-famous-author Simon Higginson has finally been unleashed on an unsuspecting public. Never being one to blow his own trumpet, the mild-mannered and utterly modest scribbler kept this well and truly under his hat. By no means a masterpiece, expect to find it in a bargain bin or secondhand bookshop near you soon (-er than you think).
Available from Amazon, Barnes & Nobel, and all other low-quality booksellers at a ridiculous price. You have been warned!!