Birthday Shocker

Bristol based Birthday girl Raggs H is being given the cold-shoulder by her husband, dodgy builder Ged H, for refusing to don the appropriate attire for an official family function: her own birthday.

According to an irate Ged, he sent an invitation to all the members of the family insisting that they should all wear their birthday suits to the birthday celebration he had organized and whilst the younger members of the family were more than happy to comply (see photo below), his wife refused point blank.

“What’s the point of having a birthday suit if you don’t wear it” complained a disappointed Ged. “Really, she’s got a bare-faced cheek. I had to fork out about a 100 quid for the darn outfit and I don’t even get to appreciate it.”

According to Raggs, the suit was at the cleaners because she’d “soiled it at a job interview (or something like that).”

This incensed the already angry husband even further as he claimed he would now have to pick up the cleaner’s bill himself.

Birthday Share

Birthday couple Rob and Moe B have much in common. Apart from sharing the same birth date, they both named their first son Joshua, they are both hairdressers and they both live in the West End ....... of Chipping Norton. Luckily, however, they don't share the same football team. Sensible Moe supports Liverpool whilst not-so-sensible Rob is a West Ham fan (Yes! They still exist).

Conjoined Twins and Chocolate Drums

Almost identical twins Isla and Amelie have shocked the medical world by requesting that they be joined together as Siamese twins (or conjoined twins to use the more PC term). The wacky sisters posed at a press conference yesterday to show how they would like to be joined. However, doctors at the Royal Bristol Infirmary were unable to agree to their request due to the fact that the twins are minors and need parental consent.  Unperturbed the twins aim to push ahead with their plan.

“Getting our parent’s consent shouldn’t be a problem” Isla told reporters. When pushed on why such a drastic request would be given the go ahead by their parents Amelie kept repeating the same cryptic phrase “chocolate drums” over and over again.

Mr. and Mrs. C were unavailable for comment.

Special Offer

A local supermarket in Bristol has introduced a novel way to boost sales by offering a Maya Eve of Destruction with each bumper pack of 18 own brand toilet rolls. The offer is for a limited period of 2 weeks or until stocks run out. The special pack costs only 6.65.