Sulky Son Slams Celebration

Sulky son Joe C has put the dampers on his parent’s wedding anniversary by slamming their constant celebrations and threatening to boycott this evening’s gala ceremony which is being held at the Deniol Golf Club at Pen Y Bryn, Gwynedd. The tormented teenager is tired of his birthday celebration being overshadowed by his parents wedding anniversary which takes place on February 29th.
“It’s the same every four years.” explained Joe to a reporter at world famous blogspot Papasgotabrandnewblog. “They did it back in 2008 and 2004 and all the others. I’m sick of it. They get all lovey-dovey and forget all about my birthday after less than a week. I’ve written to the European Court of Human Rights and I’m hoping to get some sort of restraining order to stop this nonsense.”
“My birthday is on February 24th but I like to savor it for at least a week to 10 days” explained an irate Joe. “However, every four years or so my parents come up with this anniversary business and just start ignoring me. It’s not fair and it’s got to stop.”
Whilst Joe’s parents refused to comment on the matter, a spokesperson for the caterers at the Deniol Golf Club said that in previous years Joe had always appeared to enjoy the festivities.

Exclusive photo of the divided family

Chilean Woman Speaks Out on Banned Birthdays

Chilean mum Elisa J has spoken out on the decision by World famous blogspot Papasgotabrandnewblog to prohibit all birthdays in the second fortnight of February.
Elisa (otherwise known as the Chilean Goldilocks) who celebrates her 21st birthday for a record time today*, has threatened to take the online journal to court if they don't post a birthday greeting. Speaking at a specially arranged press conference the irrate birthday girl gave the following statement:

"It's not every day you get to celebrates your 21st birthday. I was born in February and that will never change. The holiday arguement put forth by that blogspot thingy doesn't hold any water with me. As a mother I work 365 days a year and so should the blog journalists. Regardless of the date I want to see my name in the headlines. If PGABNB don't publish, I'll sue."

The popular blogspot which also came under fire in the comments section of their last issue has remained tight-lipped on the matter since causing outrage with the announcement of the ban. Additionally, they accused a Ms Rosie W of "unbefriended" them on Facebook when the young women in question doesn't even have a Facebook account. Things seem to have gone amiss at the blogspot in recent weeks and an unhappy readership have been concerned about possible links to phone-hacking and illegal payments' to sources.

If Goldilocks goes ahead with her plans to sue it would no doubt be the icing on the (birthday) cake!

(*source Guinness Book of Records 2012)

ps. The cheque's in the post Mr Guinness.

February Birthdays Prohibited

World famous blogspot Papasgotabrandnewblog has caused furore amongst it readers with its announcement to prohibit all birthdays in the second fortnight of February. The affected parties are Joe C & Rosie W who both celebrated their birthdays on February 24th. Both birthday bofins decided to demonstrate their discontent via Facebook. Joe C used a profile picture of his good self wearing a tie (!!!), and Rosie W anticipated the snub by various weeks and "unbefriended" all Papasgotabrandnewblog staff on her account.
A spokesperson for the controvestial blogspot gave the following explanation:
"It's high time people living in the Northern hemisphere started to realise that they are no longer the bee's knees. If they expect us to carry on playing second dog then they've got another thing coming. We have holidays in February so it’s up to people living in the Northern hemisphere to change their birthdays. In fact, it's totally imperialistic for them to have birthdays during our holidays. They should change them."

Non-Stop Singer in Birthday Row

Travelling minstrel Neil Williams has revealed the harsh truth about his initiation into the world of entertainment and the wicked manager who used to beat him with a stick. Williams, who celebrates his fortieth birthday today, has provided world famous blogspot Papasgotabrandnewblog with photographic proof to back up claims that his former manager forced him to play gruellingly long live concerts under threat of a sound beating. Williams, bills himself as “the Bruce Springsteen of the Cheltenham folk circuit” for his ability to play live sets of 4 or 5 hours without a break.

Williams, who is famed for his ability to segue a large number of songs together seamlessly has been accused of using this as a way of keeping his audience captive rather than captivated. However, the singer claims that this practice harks back to the days when his evil manager would “beat him black and blue” every time he stopped playing. According to an unnamed source, the photograph actually shows Williams being threatened with a beating because he wouldn’t stop singing. The singer vehemently denies this claim and has retorted by saying that this is a rumour being spread by lesser artists who are just jealous of his musical talent.

The Bee's Knees

(Photo by Michelle Ny)

Today is the last chance for UK readers of world famous blogspot Papasgotabrandnewblog to see top New Zealand actor Ella Double H in her current play Tom Keeper Passes. To catch the final performance of the play, which has been described as a "splendid production" by Laurie Atkinson in The Dominion Post and as "highly recommended" by John Smythe from the New Zealand Theatre Review. The story uses "bee-keeping as a metaphor for human intervention in the natural world" with special attention to the phenomenon of colony collapse disorder(CCD) which has been affecting Bees worldwide since at least 2006.

UK readers wishing to catch the final performance will need to act pretty sharpish as it involves catching a plane which travels the wrong way around the world in order to arrive in Wellington today (Feb 12 down-under) to catch the final performance. When you get there just grab a taxi form Wellington airport and ask the driver to take you to Te Whaea National Dance and Drama Centre which is at 11 Hutchison Road Newtown. Please remember to check ticket availability for the final show as it would be a pity to travel all that way for nothing.

Ms Double H shares some thoughts about the play here:
http://tomkeeperpasses.tumblr.com/post/14609547024/community-and-family-ella-h-h
And the main page for the production can be found here:
http://tomkeeperpasses.tumblr.com/

Given that the theme of the play is bees Papasgotabrandnewblog has been unable to rule out a connection with Bristol juvenile delinquent Honey B. Suspiciously, when questioned about her relationship with the hardened criminal, the young New Zealand actor refused to comment.

No News

World famous blogspot Papasgotabrandnewblog has baffled readers with its lack of news over the last few days. According to a spokesperson for the popular online news site “No news is good news”. Speaking in an exclusive interview with one of its own reporters the award winning blogspot representative made the following statement;
“Whilst lack of news is generally seen as a bad thing in the world of blogs and journalism as a whole, we here at Papasgotabrandnewblog hold a futurist view on this matter and our lack of news is part of a worldwide policy towards lack of information. Our lack of news sends out a positive message to our readership that everything is ok and that they can sleep soundly in their beds. While we do hope to report some news in the future we really think it’s best to wait until something good has happened.”
Reports from another un-named source that the world famous blogspot had been shut down in connection with the Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA) act appear to be unfounded.
“These reports are unfounded.” said the spokesperson, adding “Although this is a British owned blogspot, we’re not all pirates.”
(Aye, aye Cap’in)

Today's report is accompanied by a rather nice picture of some street art sighted on the banks of the River Mapocho Santiago, Chile.

Picture This!

World renowned Art Therapist Colin H has been contacted by Bristol Police working on the Bristol Builder Bullies Baby case. According to reports, the artful artist has been asked to interpret the artwork of underage criminal apprentice Honey B who has been identified as the sidekick of arch-villain Geddie H, the Bristol based builder currently being investigated for trying to make his youngest daughter Pixie “disappear” (and we are not talking magic tricks, pulling rabbits from hats or anything of that ilk).
Police want the thoughtful therapist to do a “full frontal Freud” on the artwork (above) of Honey B to find out what makes her tic and what makes her tock. Is the problem just her parents winding her up, or is she a time bomb waiting to explode?
Readers of world famous blogspot Papasgotabrandnewblog will be the first to get the low down as soon as Colin wobbles his way to work (remember, Colin wobbles but he won’t fall down!).
Watch this space!