Papa's Got a Brand New Year

2006

A bit of an Annus Horribillis,
but at least we survived.

A year of constRuction,
a house, a blog (that nobody reads) and a couple of bridges.

Bogged down, blogged down or just plain down,
At least the future is ............. ahead of us.

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL YOU BLOG WATCHERS.

Godfather of Soul Dies Aged 73

Godfather of Soul James Brown died earlier today in Atlanta, USA. The legendary soul singer is best known for his contribution to blog history when a word play on one of his songs was used for the name of world famous blog spot Papa's got a brand new blog.

It is difficult to sum up his contribution to the world of music but, at least for a while, he was the main man.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Birthday Boy Asks for Advice from Beyond the Grave

Birthday boy, Bristol based builder and former Football World Cup winner, Geddie Higginson traveled to Scotland to get some advice from his dead parents. Basically, he wanted to know if he had made a grave mistake by asking Raggs Wotsherface to marry him. According to reports from an unknown source, Raggs got the thumbs up from Geddie's dead parents.
Of course, we all know that it's Raggs who is making the grave mistake!
Our photo below shows Birthday boy Geddie after receiving the good news.

Drummer Celebrates Birthday Bash

Aging Drummer Danny Clibury celebrated his 50th Birthday yesterday in true Rock n´Roll style. The Wild Man of the Bristol music scene partied until at least 11.30pm and, according to reports from an unnamed source, drank at least two pints of beer! As always the ex frontman of Danny and the Uncles was accompanied by his nurse Ms. Lucy.
Our photo below shows Danny on one of his better days.

Bicycle Thieves Caught on CCTV

Police in the Cheltenham area are appealing to the public for help with regards to the capture of two bicycle thieves who were caught in the act on Closed Circuit Television last weekend. Both men were described as being in there early to mid-forties and of disheveled appearance. An eye witness said “One looked like a chubby, balding, shorter, uglier version of Steve McQueen and the other resembled John Lennon about 6 months after his death!”
A spokesperson for Cheltenham police said “Somebody is harboring these criminals and we beseech them to come forward with information before the thieves strike again. They are a menace to society and deserve to be behind bars.”
A 24-hour hotline has been set up on 01242 236335 and a crime reconstruction is to be carried out by BBC’s Crimewatch later this week.

Natty Dread

Poor Natty! How can she have the wool pulled over her eyes by a wolf in sheep's clothing?

Yep! Colin and Natty got knotted .... er ..... tied the knot.

Photos? Greetings? Wedding Cake?

Raggs' Record Ring

Soon to be Blushing Bride Raggs Wotsherface has a reason to be happy, her hubby to be, Bristol based builder (and former football world cup winner) Geddie Higgy has bought her a Guinness Book of Records entry wedding ring. The 14-inch high ring is made from solid silver and fashioned in the shape of a tree in winter. There is a tiny pinpoint diamond on the end of each branch and they light up and sparkle in the dark.

"I really love the ring." said a smiling Raggs "It's not at all heavy, although, it is a little difficult to get things out of my pocket when I'm wearing it."

When asked about the value of the ring Geddie said "The ring is priceless, just like my gal"

A spokesperson for the Guinness Book of Records said the ring would appear in the 2008 edition of the world famous book, if, of course, someone doesn't design a taller ring in the meantime!

Sick Blog

Dear Folks,

my blog is ill. I have lost the option to upload photos. I hope it is a shot lived problem.

Terri's Birthday Caption Special!!!

Hi Folks! Today, world famous blog spot, Papas got a brand new blog, is proud to present "Terri's Birthday Caption Special!!!", a special caption feature with a family feel.
Who said what to who? Who answered what who had said? You decide! And while you're at it, DON'T FORGET TO LEAVE A BIRTHDAY MESSAGE 4 TERRI

Caption Contest

World famous blog spot Papa's got a brand new blog is proud to announce the first Papa's got a brand new blog Caption Contest. It's simple and fun to participate. Just add your caption for the picture below to the comments box and you could win a BIG cash prize.


SMALL PRINT: All entries must be received no later than December 13th. The judge’s decision is final.

World Tour

World renowned Feng Shi Master Beatriz Jaramillo today announced plans for a world tour that will kick off in Britain in January 2007. Apart from dates in London, it is rumoured that the tour will take in Bristol, Cambridge, Cheltenham, Newcastle and Edinburgh More dates are expected to be added in the coming weeks.


Support for the shows will be supplied by Tree Fairy, a little known New Zealand combo which comprises of all the members of the Hope-Higginson Family.

Today’s picture shows the Feng Shui Master with a ….. ehem …. friend.

Birthday Boy

Did the Kingfisher Bar have a dart's team?

Geddie Gets Jobbie

Long-term unemployed Bristol-based builder, Ged “Geddie” Higginson, has finally found a part-time job. After months of desperation and despair the former football world cup winner has found his true vocation as a “wall-holder-uper.”
The official title on Geddie’s job description is Wall Angle Support Team Evening Relief (or WASTER for short). Geddie, however, prefers the expression “wall-holder-uper” because he feels it sums up the work with more accuracy.
“It’s not your boring 9 to 5 job” Geddie told the world famous blog spot Papa’s got a brand new blog reporter “ as I work from 10pm to 6am. The job involves holding up a wall which, although it doesn’t sound much fun, is actually very rewarding.”
Geddie's long term partner Raggs is also thrilled that her man has finally found his true vocation in life.
"He used to spend all day mooching around the house reminiscing over his world cup triumph and generally getting under my feet. The new job has really changed him and now we have something to talk about at meal times."

Today's photograph shows Geddie hard at work.

Woman Fed to Crabs by Family

A Chilean woman who had travelled over 12,000 miles to visit her family was fed to crabs it was today revealed. The woman, whose identity is being closely guarded, was nailed to rocks on the seashore in Maitencillos, Chile by her mother and sister who claim it was part of a prank. By all accounts, the prank back-fired when the family forgot about the unnamed woman and retuned to Santiago without her.
A spokesman for the local police said:
"It was lucky we found the woman before the tide came in. Another half hour and the crabs would have started biting. Being fed to crabs was a popular pirate death and is a very nasty way to go. We think The Pirates of the Caribbean movies might have reintroduced pirate practices to the Chilean coast.”
The mystery woman who lives in Cheltenham, England with her husband was at the end of a 3-week trip to visit relatives. Police have still not ruled out foul play and hope to question the family later today. However, the victim did not press charges and, according to reports, has fled the country.

Movie News Flash

Shooting begins today on the new film version of Macbeth which is due to be released early 2007. According to rumours the lead role is being played by "a big name" in either "Hollywood" or "Hollyoaks" (our reporter wasn't paying attention!).

Today's photo show some of the actors practising their lines. "Hubble, bubble, toil and trouble ..............."

Banfi Blasts Birthday Blunder

Chilean fashion guru Pedro Banfi snubbed his father’s birthday because it was on the same day as the traditional English festival of Bonfire Night. The Cambridge based trend-setter spoke to world famous blog spot Papa’s got a brand new blog via telephone and made the following statement.

“My father is a complete nincompoop. He is an embarrassment to me and I have asked him to distance himself from my business empire. I have decided to remove him from my will as anybody foolish enough to arrange a birthday that clashes with a great British celebration such as Bonfire Night obviously doesn’t deserve to inherit anything.”

Today’s photo shows Pedro turning his nose up at his father. Cristian Banfi was one hundred and thirty-six years old on November 5th

Feng Shui Star Turns Down Playboy Big Bucks

According to reports, world renowned Feng Shui Master Beatriz Jaramillo has turned down the opportunity of a lucrative Playboy photo shoot. Playboy boss Hugh Hefner, a regular reader of world famous blog spot Papa's got a brand new blog has been following the Feng Shui star's rise to fame and thought she would make the perfect centrefold girl.
Apparently though, the woman with the Feng Shui Midas Touch isn't in need of "real golden". A source close to the Chilean beauty said that Ms Jaramillo gave Hefner a firm but polite NO.
"Bea's body is a temple, people go there to worship" the source told us.
We have no idea what this means but we had to print something.

Hugh Hefner said he was "very disappointed", "deeply upset" and "looking forward to a good old knees up at the Playboy mansion this coming weekend to help him overcome the profound misery and depression Ms Jaramillo's rejection had caused, not only to him, but to hundred of Feng Shui fans all over the world."

Today's photograph shows our favourite Feng Shui Master in a ... ehem ... playful mood.

Special Offer: Three for the Price of One

Ladies and gentlemen (and the usual scum who read this blog!!), World famous blog spot Papa's got a brand new blog is proud to announce a special 3-4-1 birthday offer. Buy one of these "spring chickens" and we'll throw in the other two - free of charge!!

That's right. Buy a Freya and we'll throw in a Lizzie and a Fran at no extra cost.


Please remember, this is a limited offer whilst stocks last. Place your order in the comments box.

Small print:
The manager reserves the right to mix stock to meet demand. If one of the subjects is not available you may end up with 2 Frans and a Lizzie, 2 Freyas and a Fran or, if you are really unlucky 3 Lizzies!!!!!!!
No exchange, No refund.

JARAMILLO JETS IN

Ka-Ka Jaramillo, the slightly older and less successful sister of world famous Feng Shui master Beatriz Jaramillo, jetted into Santiago yesterday on a 3-week promotion tour. She is in town to promote her husband's dodgy gazpacho business whilst her hubby lives it up in Southern Spain, the Canary Islands and Italy

Our photograph shows the Jaramillo-Williams during one of their more intimate moments.

BANFI TO SUE WORLD FAMOUS BLOG SITE

Cambridge based fashion guru Pedro Banfi (pictured below) has announced his decision to sue World Famous blog spot Papa's got a brand new blog after the popular internet news site neglected to report his birthday which was on October 11th. According to Banfi, he was "overlooked in favour of lesser known celebrity Rockin Robin and some ole git who had stopped aging."
More news to follow.

British Man Confounds Doctors

A British man living in Santiago has confounded doctors by growing younger. According to reports the unnamed man is getting younger by the year and on his 46th birthday he actually became 44.
“We have been studying the subject for some time now and we can confirm reports that the man in question is actually growing younger at a rate of one day every 24 hours. His birthday is October 13th and this year instead of reaching 46 years of age as he should have done, he actually celebrated his 44th birthday for the second time.” said a spokesperson for the Medical Association of Santiago.
“We believe that this reverse-aging process is due to the large quantities of Chilean red wine that the man in question is consuming.” explained the spokesperson.
Full details of this extraordinary occurrence can be found in next month’s edition of Medical Miracles. There are unconfirmed reports that the man, who has asked for anonymity, has agreed to take part in an observation process that is being sponsored by a group of Chilean vineyards.
At great expense, world famous blog spot Papa’s got a brand new blog has acquired a computer generated photograph of what the man will look like in 2025.

What's Rockin' Robin?

According to reports just in from our correspondant in Newcastle, Robin Lloyd-Higginson:

a) had a Bird Day

b) had a Bad Day

c) had a Birthday

d) looks like Doris Day

e) wears a toupee


Due to the thick Geordie accent the editor of World famous bolg spot Papa's got a brand new blog couldn't decipher the message.

Please post a comment and set the record straight.




Question:
What do Time and Robin have in common?

Answer:
They both fly!

Happy Belated
Bird-day Robin

Tea Appeal

Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat,
Time to put some Tea in the Tea-less man’s hat

(Well, cup actually but it doesn’t rhyme with fat!!)

Yes folks, it time to dig deep and give to the needy. World famous blog spot Papa’s got a brand new blog is proud to announce it’s annual charity Tea Appeal for British tea addicts living in Chile. We will work day and night to assure that your donations get into the hands of someone who really needs them. Send Tea bags to US here in Chile care of Feng Shui Master Beatriz Jaramillo who has offered to support our cause by placing the tea in the correct place to take advantage of good energy and groovy vibes.

PROVOKE GOOD KARMA, GIVE GENEROUSLY

SPECIAL CHARITY (PG) TIP(S): Save on postage – Send next year's donation NOW!

Today’s photograph shows Chile’s dwindling tea stock. Act now and prevent rationing.

The World's a Rosy Place to Be ...........

The world's a rosy place to be, especially if your name's Rosie. Child prodigy Rosie Wells-Baker notched up two A pluses, 4 A's and a B plus in her recent exams. World famous blog spot Papa's got a brand new blog spoke to Rosie via long-distance and she told us of her success.
"I've had it all planed for years. I remember my Uncle Simon was a genius and I decided I wanted to be just like him. So, when I was younger I decided that when I went to school I'd get two A pluses, 4 A's and a B plus in my exams."

We asked Rosie what she wanted to do next and she said that she planned to visit her Uncle Simon in Chile and thank him personally for being such an inspiration.

Our photograph below shows Rosie when she was younger. Unfortunately, we're not sure if she's counting the number of exams she's going to pass, making a fox shadow-figure or wiping bogies off her finger!

What do you think? Please leave a comment (and don't forget to congratulate Rosie on her educational success).

The Mind of Blog

A controversial new report by World Famous blog spot Papa's got a brand new blog claims that nothing is happening inside the minds of most of the people who read the blog. A spokesman for the highly creative, humorous and innovative blog gave the following statement:
"We have it on the highest authority that the vast majority of our readers are one sandwich short of a picnic. Using an ultra new piece of interactive computer software called "Mind Scan" we have been able to scan the minds of all our readers. The results have been astonishing. The most significant factor seems to be that 99% of our readers can't write. We know this for a fact because they never leave a comment. In not doing so they are deliberately flaunting the first law of blog which states that all blog readers should comment on a ratio of once every two visits. In the case of World Famous blog spot Papa's got a brand new blog, this is obviously not happening."

Here is a picture of what is on the mind of most of our readers.



Ah Ha! Just as we thought. Not very much.

Homes of the Rich and Famous

We begin this new Papa's got a brand new blog special with a look at the new abode of International Feng Shui Master Beatriz Jaramillo.




First a side view of the lounge.



Then a glimpse of the newly tiled kitchen.










To be continued .............

Newcastle Find Shearer Replacement

Newcastle United Football Club today unveiled their replacement signing for Alan Shearer. Local hero Shearer retired at the end of last season and since then the Northern England club has been desperately trying to find someone to fill his boots.
The club released the photograph below earlier today stating that they had brought the replacement to Tyneside for what was described as "a substantial fee."

Top Toon Army fan Danny Clibery described the signing as "important". The drum teacher from Bristol said "I'd put my money on him to do well. Obviously the club is looking to the future. If he turns out to be as useless as other recent signings he can always be rented out to do rides along the coast near Lindisfarne."


Our photo shows the new NUFC centre forward with another newcomer to Newcastle Ms Jamie Leigh Higginson who has just started studying at Newcastle University.

World famous blog spot Papa's got a brand new blog wishes them both the best of luck.

Atlantic Crossing Fashion Hoax

The reported “Atlantic crossing on a llama” has been exposed as a highly original publicity hoax masterminded by Chilean Fashion Guru Pedro Banfi.
Banfi, who is in the process of transferring his operations to Cambridge UK, dreamt up the scheme in order to raise the profile of his new international label Banfi UK.
Pedro arrived in Britain this morning at Heathrow airport on a flight from Santiago. According to sources close to the little trendsetter, Pedro will be travelling down to Lands End this afternoon to do an early morning publicity press conference with the British paparazzi. Two Chilean llamas were flown in especially for the event. They are currently finishing their quarantine requirements and were unavailable for comment




The photo above shows Pedro and his Bodyguards/parents Cristian and Elisa leaving Santiago yesterday.

Swim Time

Today’s photo exclusive shows fashion Guru Pedro Banfi in training for his Atlantic crossing. As you may recall from previous posts, young Mr Banfi is attempting to be the first man to travel from Chile to Britain by llama.
A large part of the trip involves negotiating the chilly waters of the Atlantic Ocean. Although, as Pedro pointed out in his last interview with world famous blog spot Papa’s got a brand new blog, llamas can swim, he forgot that he could not!


Splish!



Splash!

Feng Shui in the Kitchen: Tea 4 2

That feng shui master's at it again! Here you can see what a little bit of careful thought can do to spice up those dull kitchen cupboards. World famous blog spot Papa' got a brand new blog Feng Shui expert Beatriz Jaramillo is reaching new heights and definitely leads the way in the ancient art.

So, pop the kettle on, brew up and drink to the Feng Shui master's health.

Cheers!

A New Design on Atlantic Crossing

Fashion designer Pedro Banfi has come up with a novel way to promote the opening of his Cambridge world fashion empire headquarters. The young fashion guru has decided to travel from Santiago to Cambridge on a llama. Pedro is reported as saying that he plans to emulate Marco Polo’s great feat of crossing the Alps on an elephant. When it was pointed out to Pedro that he had to cross the Atlantic Ocean, Pedro responded by stating that a) Llamas can swim, and b) His clothes are guaranteed shrink-proof.

World famous blog spot Papa’s got a brand new blog will be covering the journey and keeping you all up to date on the progress of the intrepid fashion designer turned adventurer.

Today’s photograph shows Pedro being given a right royal send off as he starts the first leg of his epic journey.

Pooh Girl Clears Up Events

Robin Lloyd-Higginson, the girl in the “pooh-in-the-river” scandal, has hit back at critics. In a press conference earlier today Ms Lloyd-Higginson gave her account of what occurred and also defended her actions.
According to Robin she wanted to clear up the confusion.
“I only wee-ed in the river” confessed the pint-sized youngster. “In addition, the minerals contained in human wee are actually very good for the fish”.
Furthermore, in an exclusive interview with world famous blog spot Papa’s got a brand new blog, Robin confessed that she was; vegetarian, a member of Greenpeace, the RSPCA and a fully paid up member of Easton Library (???).
“I wouldn’t do any thing to harm the environment” said Robin. “Both my parents are mad.”

Independence Day (No! Not the Movie)

Today is Chilean Independence Day. This is the Chilean flag which although similar to that of the Texan flag was actually created 31 years earlier.

British Citizen in River Pollution Scandal

Reports are coming in that Spanish Police have started extradition procedures against a young British citizen. Apparently, Spanish authorities want to question Robin Lloyd-Higginson of Easton, Bristol on charges related to the “soiling of Spanish territory” after the youngster was spotted “doing her business” in a Spanish river.

World famous blog spot Papa’s got a brand new blog acquired the video still below from close circuit surveillance images. A spokesman for the Spanish water authorities said “The pooh in the water is not good for de little fishes. We no go a your country e pissy in de rivers or things likes these. We stamp out de pooh-pooh.”

According to an inside source, the Police aim to take stool samples and carry out DNA tests to prove Ms Lloyd-Higginson guilty of the aforementioned river pollution charges.

Bea's Birthday Message Board

Please leave a birthday greeting (send cheques, cash donations and pressies to new address!)

Gig Warning!

Lock up your daughters!!
Run for the hills!
Goya are back on the road.

You can catch them walking sideways at:
Berrow
Music Festival
Thursday-Saturday
21st-23rd September 2006

They will perform a "series of three evening concerts of classical chamber music in the beautiful sand dune setting and intimate acoustic of St. Mary’s Church, Berrow."

Sand dunes, Sea air, Crabs!

Well, what else did you expect!!

Pictured below are Goya's keenest fans on an autograph hunt (or trying to put a few kilometres between them and the "beautiful sand dune setting" before the din starts).

Favourite Artworks :Nº2 The Great Wave Off Kanagawa

This is by Katsushika Hokusai (1760-1849). It is a 10 x 15 in or 25.4 x 37.1 cm colour woodcut. The original is at the Hakone Museum in Japan.

Baggy Trousers Big in Cambridge

Tiny trend setter Pedro Banfi is on the move. The pint-sized, metro-sexual model/fashion designer is moving his highly successful South American business to the British city of Cambridge. Banfi spoke to world famous blog spot Papa’s got a brand new blog at the launch of his new Spring/Summer Collection at a secret location in Santiago last night.
“I plan to put the city of Cambridge on the map” said the excited toddler. “Cambridge is going to be the new Milan.”
The buzz in the fashion world has been all about Banfi in these last few weeks. His highly awaited new designs have won him plaudits from both public and fashion critics alike.
Apparently Pedro got the idea for his latest line whilst listening to 80’s British ska band Madness.
“I wanted something street but classic cut at the same time” explained Pedro. “Jumpers are definitely being worn inside the trousers in order to accentuate the waistline and to give a chunkier more robust feel. Because of this the trouser needs to be wide-legged and baggy.”
So far, the only criticism of Banfi’s new design has come from Italian design group Versace who claim that the outfit looks like “a pair of oversize swimming trunks being used by someone who has wet his pants.”
Pedro refused to comment on the this cruel and vicious remark saying that the matter was in the hands of his lawyer, father Cristian Banfi, who would be suing the pants off Versace for slander

Kat on a Hot Tin Roof (well almost!)

As requested by Terri from Newcastle, here's Kat on a highly polished floor, contemplating his new abode.

Brothers Emulate Brothers Two Years On

Freddie Mercury impersonator and artless artist Colin Higginson has done the dirty on his brother, Bristol-based builder and former football World Cup winner Geddie, by announcing plans to wed. Geddie, who announced his wedding plans whilst on a binge drinking spree in Southern Spain has had his limelight stolen by his brother who yesterday informed world famous blog spot Papa's got a brand new blog of his plans to tie the knot before the end of the year.
However, this brotherly rivalry is no stranger to the Higginson fold. In 2004, when elder brother Simon announced plans to marry Chilean Feng Shui expert Beatriz Jaramillo, younger brother Adie quickly forced his long-term partner, Singer Hetty Hope, down the aisle against her will (but with the aid of two giggling minors!).

British bookmakers Ladbrookes are currently taking bets on which of the brothers will be the first to announce divorce proceedings and whether or not the other brothers will follow suit.

Place your bets please!!!

Today's photograph shows Colin toasting his brother's health.

Police Seek Dog Stranglers 25 Years On

Police in Santiago, Chile are trying to solve a crime that occurred about 25 years ago after large quantities of dog bones were found in an unmarked grave earlier this year. Tests carried out by forensic experts show that all the dogs were strangled.

A recent appeal for information related to the doggy deaths unearthed a photograph sent in by an anonymous citizen (see below). Although the image catches the culprits red-handed, it seems police are still in the dark as to the identity of the two dog stranglers. Apparently, other details were supplied along with the photograph but, the police refused to reveal how close they were to making an arrest.

A police spokesman gave the following statement:

"We are looking for two dangerous criminals who we believe have the initials BJ and CJ. They reside in the metropolitan area and are in their early thirties. We are requesting that anyone with further details on their whereabouts come forward. Under no circumstances should members of the public try to approach these wicked criminals. They are highly dangerous. They've killed before and they could kill again."

Anybody who can shed further light on this disturbing case should contact their local constabulary.

Feng Shui Girl Flat Photo Exclusive

Chilean paparazzi have been working round the clock to be the first to snap the new apartment of the woman who's been billed the Paris Hilton of Chilean Feng Shui. Despite the fact that she's married, doesn't have any money, and doesn't involve herself in pointless, futile, attention grabbing activities, the Chilean gutter press is besotted with Temuco born Feng Shui expert Beatriz Jaramillo. The paparazzi refuse to leave her alone and photographs of Ms Jaramillo are exchanging hands for exorbitant sums of money.
World famous blog spot Papa's got a brand new blog has gone to great lengths and has spared no expense to be the first web site to offer an exclusive insight to the world of the Chilean Beauty.
Over the coming days and weeks, Beatriz will be working her magic to turn the space pictured below into the Feng Shui heaven Papa's got a brand new blog site users have grown to love and cherish.



This really is a case of Watch This Space!

Wedding Announcement peaks at 9

Is marriage dead?

Marriage is dead!

The news that Geddie and Raggs are planning to tie the knot amassed a measly nine comments on world famous blog spot Papa’s got a brand new blog.
According to experts, there are two possible conclusions that can be draw:
a) marriage is dead
b) Nobody gives a monkey's about Geddie and Raggs

What do you say? Add you tuppence worth now!

Today's photo shows a delighted Raggs minutes after cheeky chappie Geddie popped the question. We asked Raggs what she thought about the sacred ceromony of marriage but our reporter can't be sure if she said "I'm looking forward to the honeymoon" or "I looking forward to the alimony" (See footnote)





(He actually swears blind it was the later. However, Papa's got a brand new blog doesn't want to risk getting involved in any smutty leagal tangles. We've heard through the grapevine that Raggs is a tough cookie who rules the roost with an iron fist. She must be if she's twisted Geddie "I'll be a batchelor forever" Higginson's arm into a life of trouble and strife!!
Raggs, don't do it! He hasn't got any money and you'll end up paying him alimony. The boy's a bum!!)

Newsflas: Spanish Mountain Top Drama Woman Goes Over the Top!

According to new information from the sleepy town of San Jose in Almeria (Spain), the woman involved in the mountain top drama earlier today has agreed to marry the man who threatened to push her off the mountain.
The woman, known to her friends as "Raggs", is being examined by a psychiatrist after saying “I do” to Geddie Higginson only hours after she had had him arrested for threatening behaviour. According to locals, she had been drinking heavily prior to her decision and it's thought that the sun went to her head.
World famous blog spot Papa's got a brand new blog is monitoring the situation and will keep you up-to-date with any further developments in this story as they happen.

British Woman in Spanish Mountain Top Drama.

A British woman was today involved in a mountain top drama in the Southern Spanish region of Almeria. According to reports from Spain, a man, named by Spanish police as Gerald Dominic Higginson, threatened to push the woman off a mountain unless she agreed to marry him!
The young woman, whose identity has been kept a secret, craftily humoured her assailant by agreeing to his demands. However, once they had returned to the safety of the town of San Jose she quickly informed the police who threw the scoundrel in the slammer.
Apparently, Mr Higginson (pictured below), an unemployed builder from Bristol, had been drinking heavily prior to the incident and it's thought that the sun went to his head.

Brit to Star in Hollywood Remake

British youngster Stevie Sharpe has been selected to play the starring role in an up and coming remake of Stephen Spielberg’s blockbuster ET. Young Stevie beat off fierce competition to nab the coveted role which promises to catapult her to worldwide fame.
Her proud mother Sue, who also acts as her agent, spoke to a reporter of world famous Papa’s got a brand new blog yesterday shortly after the news was announced.
“Her father and I are so pleased” said Sue. “We always knew little Stevie would make the big time if she remained patient. We were disappointed when nothing happened for the first two weeks after her birth, however, we kept on encouraging her and in the end it was worth all the effort and the long wait.”
According to the latest reports, the family will jet out to Hollywood next week and shooting should begin early September.

Our photo shows little Stevie trying to get to grips with pointing and saying "Phone home" at the same time. She hopes to have it perfected in time for the big scene!

Look-alike Competition Results

World famous blog spot Papa's got a brand new blog is proud to announce that Ms Frances H, a mother of two from the Worcester area, is the winner of this year's Look-alike competition. Her imitation of deceased comedian Charlie Chaplin had all the judges convinced that the Hollywood funny man had been reincarnated.

"I was so excited I swallowed my moustache" an overjoyed Fran told our reporter. "I didn't think I had a cat in hell's chance of winning but I prefer dogs and horses" added Fran somewhat confusingly!
"I'm sorry" she went on, "but I'm lost for words. I want to dedicatee my victory to my two wonderful daughters, even though Jamie-Leigh went horse-riding without me, my family, the dogs, my bank manager, my ......blah, blah blah!!!"

Our photo below shows Fran minutes after hearing the news about her triumph.


Well done!

Shy Mum Goes On Shandy Sniffing Bender

Shy mum Lizzie Higginson, who had a personality change after she sniffed a glass of shandy at a party recently, has called for the demon drink to be banned.
"I have my daughter's future to think of" said Ms Higginson. "It's outrageous that young kids can freely buy this dangerous beverage over the counter."
Ms Higginson (shown below during her shandy induced wobbler) has started a petition to limit the sale of shandy to Off Licences and similar outlets.
"I'm a responsible mother and member of society" she told world famous blog spot Papa's got a brand new blog. "Normally I'm very shy and reserved. This evil liquor turned me into a limelight hogging wild woman. Something has to be done to protect our children from this sort of vice. I’m ashamed of what happened and I want to ensure that others don’t suffer ridicule and pain the way that I have."
Ms Higginson is one-hundred and seven years old.

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