Police Seek Dog Stranglers 25 Years On

Police in Santiago, Chile are trying to solve a crime that occurred about 25 years ago after large quantities of dog bones were found in an unmarked grave earlier this year. Tests carried out by forensic experts show that all the dogs were strangled.

A recent appeal for information related to the doggy deaths unearthed a photograph sent in by an anonymous citizen (see below). Although the image catches the culprits red-handed, it seems police are still in the dark as to the identity of the two dog stranglers. Apparently, other details were supplied along with the photograph but, the police refused to reveal how close they were to making an arrest.

A police spokesman gave the following statement:

"We are looking for two dangerous criminals who we believe have the initials BJ and CJ. They reside in the metropolitan area and are in their early thirties. We are requesting that anyone with further details on their whereabouts come forward. Under no circumstances should members of the public try to approach these wicked criminals. They are highly dangerous. They've killed before and they could kill again."

Anybody who can shed further light on this disturbing case should contact their local constabulary.

Feng Shui Girl Flat Photo Exclusive

Chilean paparazzi have been working round the clock to be the first to snap the new apartment of the woman who's been billed the Paris Hilton of Chilean Feng Shui. Despite the fact that she's married, doesn't have any money, and doesn't involve herself in pointless, futile, attention grabbing activities, the Chilean gutter press is besotted with Temuco born Feng Shui expert Beatriz Jaramillo. The paparazzi refuse to leave her alone and photographs of Ms Jaramillo are exchanging hands for exorbitant sums of money.
World famous blog spot Papa's got a brand new blog has gone to great lengths and has spared no expense to be the first web site to offer an exclusive insight to the world of the Chilean Beauty.
Over the coming days and weeks, Beatriz will be working her magic to turn the space pictured below into the Feng Shui heaven Papa's got a brand new blog site users have grown to love and cherish.



This really is a case of Watch This Space!

Wedding Announcement peaks at 9

Is marriage dead?

Marriage is dead!

The news that Geddie and Raggs are planning to tie the knot amassed a measly nine comments on world famous blog spot Papa’s got a brand new blog.
According to experts, there are two possible conclusions that can be draw:
a) marriage is dead
b) Nobody gives a monkey's about Geddie and Raggs

What do you say? Add you tuppence worth now!

Today's photo shows a delighted Raggs minutes after cheeky chappie Geddie popped the question. We asked Raggs what she thought about the sacred ceromony of marriage but our reporter can't be sure if she said "I'm looking forward to the honeymoon" or "I looking forward to the alimony" (See footnote)





(He actually swears blind it was the later. However, Papa's got a brand new blog doesn't want to risk getting involved in any smutty leagal tangles. We've heard through the grapevine that Raggs is a tough cookie who rules the roost with an iron fist. She must be if she's twisted Geddie "I'll be a batchelor forever" Higginson's arm into a life of trouble and strife!!
Raggs, don't do it! He hasn't got any money and you'll end up paying him alimony. The boy's a bum!!)

Newsflas: Spanish Mountain Top Drama Woman Goes Over the Top!

According to new information from the sleepy town of San Jose in Almeria (Spain), the woman involved in the mountain top drama earlier today has agreed to marry the man who threatened to push her off the mountain.
The woman, known to her friends as "Raggs", is being examined by a psychiatrist after saying “I do” to Geddie Higginson only hours after she had had him arrested for threatening behaviour. According to locals, she had been drinking heavily prior to her decision and it's thought that the sun went to her head.
World famous blog spot Papa's got a brand new blog is monitoring the situation and will keep you up-to-date with any further developments in this story as they happen.

British Woman in Spanish Mountain Top Drama.

A British woman was today involved in a mountain top drama in the Southern Spanish region of Almeria. According to reports from Spain, a man, named by Spanish police as Gerald Dominic Higginson, threatened to push the woman off a mountain unless she agreed to marry him!
The young woman, whose identity has been kept a secret, craftily humoured her assailant by agreeing to his demands. However, once they had returned to the safety of the town of San Jose she quickly informed the police who threw the scoundrel in the slammer.
Apparently, Mr Higginson (pictured below), an unemployed builder from Bristol, had been drinking heavily prior to the incident and it's thought that the sun went to his head.

Brit to Star in Hollywood Remake

British youngster Stevie Sharpe has been selected to play the starring role in an up and coming remake of Stephen Spielberg’s blockbuster ET. Young Stevie beat off fierce competition to nab the coveted role which promises to catapult her to worldwide fame.
Her proud mother Sue, who also acts as her agent, spoke to a reporter of world famous Papa’s got a brand new blog yesterday shortly after the news was announced.
“Her father and I are so pleased” said Sue. “We always knew little Stevie would make the big time if she remained patient. We were disappointed when nothing happened for the first two weeks after her birth, however, we kept on encouraging her and in the end it was worth all the effort and the long wait.”
According to the latest reports, the family will jet out to Hollywood next week and shooting should begin early September.

Our photo shows little Stevie trying to get to grips with pointing and saying "Phone home" at the same time. She hopes to have it perfected in time for the big scene!

Look-alike Competition Results

World famous blog spot Papa's got a brand new blog is proud to announce that Ms Frances H, a mother of two from the Worcester area, is the winner of this year's Look-alike competition. Her imitation of deceased comedian Charlie Chaplin had all the judges convinced that the Hollywood funny man had been reincarnated.

"I was so excited I swallowed my moustache" an overjoyed Fran told our reporter. "I didn't think I had a cat in hell's chance of winning but I prefer dogs and horses" added Fran somewhat confusingly!
"I'm sorry" she went on, "but I'm lost for words. I want to dedicatee my victory to my two wonderful daughters, even though Jamie-Leigh went horse-riding without me, my family, the dogs, my bank manager, my ......blah, blah blah!!!"

Our photo below shows Fran minutes after hearing the news about her triumph.


Well done!

Shy Mum Goes On Shandy Sniffing Bender

Shy mum Lizzie Higginson, who had a personality change after she sniffed a glass of shandy at a party recently, has called for the demon drink to be banned.
"I have my daughter's future to think of" said Ms Higginson. "It's outrageous that young kids can freely buy this dangerous beverage over the counter."
Ms Higginson (shown below during her shandy induced wobbler) has started a petition to limit the sale of shandy to Off Licences and similar outlets.
"I'm a responsible mother and member of society" she told world famous blog spot Papa's got a brand new blog. "Normally I'm very shy and reserved. This evil liquor turned me into a limelight hogging wild woman. Something has to be done to protect our children from this sort of vice. I’m ashamed of what happened and I want to ensure that others don’t suffer ridicule and pain the way that I have."
Ms Higginson is one-hundred and seven years old.

ADVERTISEMENT - Fat Kat Fashion

All you Hep Kats & Kool Kats get into the groove.

Put a bit of JAY - A - Zee - Zee into your life

Be the Koolest Kat on the Block

Fat Kat Fashion Proudly Presents: This Years Model

The BELLY SHAVE




9 out of 10 Cats say their Owners Purr-furred it.

MIAOW!

Feng Shui in the desert

According to our roving Feng Shui expert Bea Jaramillo, desert hostels are great places for Feng Shui. Take all the stress out of unpacking by strategic littering. Just follow these simple instructions.

1. Close your eyes.

2. Open your bag, rucksack or suitcase.

3. Spin around and around whilst skilfully turning the baggage item upside down

(For added effect shout whhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!)

The photos below show the type of results you can achieve with just a little practice.

Enjoy!