Thumbs Up For The Birthday Girls

Bristol born twin sisters Isla and Amelie are attempting a Guinness Book of Records entry in the totally new category of “Thumb Sucking Whilst Wearing Groovy Animal Hats And Standing On One Leg With An Elmo Slipper On.” The category was invented by the twin’s sister, Maya Eve of Destruction who came up with the novel idea to celebrate Isla and Amelie’s 2nd birthday which took place yesterday. The Guinness official overseeing the book entry bid had to be persuaded that a penguin qualified as an animal after threatening to disqualify the sisters on a technicality. However, Maya Eve of Destruction curtly remaindered said official that as she had invented the category she was also responsible for the rules (she also threatened to turn him into a newt if he caused any trouble). The inventive youngster also initiated her sibling sisters in a pagan telepathic fire generating ceremony in front a group of leering adults which was supposed to bring the girls good luck in their record breaking endeavor.

Only time will tell if the talented twins will get in the Guinness as their record attempt won’t be liable for inclusion until the 2015 edition. World famous blogspot Papasgotabrandnewblog wishes them good luck and many happy returns.

Song of the Day Ist Birthday

Song of the Day (Chile), the world famous sister blog of world famous blogspot Papasgotabrandnewblog, celebrated its first birthday yesterday. Launched on January 26th 2012 to the tune of “My Baby Just Cares for Me” (by the incomparable High Priestess of Soul, Nina Simone), the wonderful webpage has treated visitors to an array magical musical moments. With 2,790 page views in 365 days the blogspot has proven to be a resounding success with visitors from as far afield as Latvia and New Zealand. The top 5 audience figures for the first year are: Chile (1195 views), United States (513), Russia (454), United Kingdom (231) and Germany (96) The other top 10 countries are made up of Poland, France, Ukraine, Israel & China (in that order).
On behalf of its staff and readers, Papasgotsabrandnewblog would like to wish Song of the Day (Chile) all the best for the future and thanks it for the wild & wonderful music it has shared with the world (time to get the lighters out guys and girls!!).
Rock on soul brother & soul sisters! If music be the food of love then play on!!!

Hairdresser's Kids Abducted By Aliens!

A distraught hairdresser from Chipping Norton has offered a reward for information on the whereabouts of her two children Joshua and Rosie who have been missing since last week. Their mother, hairdresser Moe B, believes they have been abducted by aliens after the picture below appeared on her son’s social network page.
“You only have to look at the eyes of those people they’re with” sobbed the perturbed mother “they’re not human. They look like something from Village of the Dammed.…. and look at that one on the end doing that Mr Spock thing. Downright bloody evil if you ask me.”
Worried mother Moe, has offered “a free hair cut for life” for anyone who comes forward with information that helps find her kids.
It’s Joshua birthday today” explained Moe “What’ll I do with all the sandwiches I’ve made?”
Anyone with details of the whereabouts of the 2 children should contact Chipping Norton Police who have set up a 24-hour hotline (try phoning the local pub: Ed). The Police wish to point out that due to legal reasons they can't publish the name of the Saloon in Chipping Norton (there can't be that many! Ed) and that, as as they know,the reward doesn’t included wash or blow dry but that a discount may be offered for these services. A full list of prices is available on request and bookings can be made online.
Happy birthday Josh …… wherever you are. I hope you arent too spaced out by (with? Ed) the Aliens.

PS. You can get a better view of the Alien eyes by clicking on the photo.

Poem of the Day: Some Crocodiles

Some crocodiles,
can see for miles,
whilst others are short-sighted
But please beware,
them anywhere
if not you might get bited.

Bird Bungles Bowie Trap

The shamed Bristol based mother of two whose young daughter’s cocaine licking picture went viral on the internet has claimed she is not a drug baron. The woman, who goes under the moniker ‘Ms Bird’, claims she bought cocaine in an attempt to lure David Bowie into her house so that she could record him admitting that he had hired a contract killer to hit the editor of world famous blogspot Papasgotabrandnewblog.
Despite sounding like the plot of a reject Cohen Brothers screenplay, Ms Bird believes that Bowie took out the contract after the popular online journal snubbed the offer of an exclusive premiere of Bowie’s latest single “Where are we now” which was released on the singer’s 66th birthday on January 8th. Bowie was reported to be “extremely upset” by the snub which unfortunately coincided with a week long hiatus of publications by PGABNB that, in turn, prompted rumours of a Bowie-backed contract on the head of staff of the whacky website (see PGABNB 17/1/13). According to the accused, she sent a picture (see below) to Bowie and invited him around to “reminisce about the good old days in Berlin.”
Subsequently, in a lame attempt to rid herself of any blame, the hapless criminal published a totally unbelievable account of “the facts” on the comments section of a recent post on world famous blogspot Papasgotabrandnewblog. In fact, the comment was so far-fetched police at first believed that it was actually the work of Little Lola Moon Rocket. Additionally, a writing expert who viewed the publication said that it appeared to have been written by “a very young child or of someone with extremely limited powers of expression.”
Eventually coming clean, Ms Bird, who has now admitted the charges, said that she knew Bowie was a user after listening to his 1976 album Station to Station which describes his cocaine habit in some depth. However, Ms Bird didn’t consider the possibility of her young daughter Lola Moon Rocket finding her “Bowie stash.”
“I’m really sorry about what’s happened” explained Ms Bird, “Lola should know better than to take my drugs. She should have bought her own.”
Both Bowie and Papasgotabrandnewblog declined the chance to comment although David did wonder what had happened to the present Ms Bird had so kindly purchased for him.


(PS Ms Bird, is her surname Brain by any chance? Ed).

Little Lola Montana

An unnamed Bristol-based mother-of-two is helping police with their enquires after a photo of a young child consuming a Class A drug started circulating on the internet early this morning (see below). The picture shows a youngster consuming cocaine in a way that can only be described as reminiscent of Tony Montana in the cult-movie Scarface (see below).
The infant, who can’t be named for legal reasons but who has been referred to as 'Lola' or 'Lunar' on the internet, was given the all clear by doctors at Bristol Royal Infirmary earlier today. According to one of the nurses who spoke to the child, she told the doctor that when she took the drug her face “went all numb and tingly.” Doctors are waiting on the results of a blood test before issuing their evaluation of the child’s condition. The unnamed nurse reported that Lola was “out of danger” but that she was “full of energy and slightly euphoric” and that "these symptoms are typically associated with cocaine consumption."
Whilst police have promised to release a full report later in the day, they seem to be working on the premise that the mother of the young child is a local drug baron and that 'little Lola' found her mother’s stash.


Lola

Tony Montana

Blame It On Bowie

Readers of world famous blogspot Papasgotabrandnewblog are starting to worry at the lack of publications on the popular online site. There have been numerous rumours as to why 2013 has got off to such a slow start and although no one really knows for sure the "word on the street” is that rock legend David Bowie took out a contract on the popular blog for snubbing him. As reported recently on world famous blogspot Papasgotabrandnewblog, the wacky website turned down the chance of an exclusive premiere of Bowie's first single in 10 years because he "wasn't famous enough."
According to an anonymous source the whole thing was very embarrassing for Bowie, “It was very David & Goliath but this time David wasn’t David he was Goliath.”
When questioned, Bowie refused to discuss the matter and appeared extremely agitated. One international blogspot has reported him as saying “I have never heard of Papasgotabrandnewblog and I don't care that it turned down the world exclusive premiere of my latest song.”
Readers first became concerned because the brilliant blog, which is normally quick to blow its own trumpet, offered no fanfares to herald the landmark 20,000th view which, by all accounts, took place on January 9th or 10th.
One reader, thought to be a Ms Bird from Bristol (England), has vowed to “get to the bottom of the matter and reveal the truth." As she explained, "Trying to trace a contract killing back to somebody like David Bowie is likely to be time-consuming and costly as he no doubt went to great lengths to cover his tracks. Nevertheless, he's already made his first mistake by claiming that he's never heard of world famous blogspot Papasgotabrandnewblog when we all read about him being a big fan in a Papasgotabrandnewblog post less than 2 weeks ago. He must think we’re all idiots."
As always on these occasions, we here at world famous blogspot Papasgotabrandnewblog will do our upmost to keep abreast of the situation and make sure that our readers are kept up-to-date with any new developments in this intriguing case.
Watch this space.


Incriminating evidence?

Bowie Birthday Exclusive Snub

According to a spokesperson for birthday-boy rock superstar David Bowie, World famous blogspot papasgotabrandnewblog turned down the chance of an exclusive premiere of Bowie's first new recording in 10 years because Bowie "wasn't famous enough". Bowie had wanted the popular blogspot to host his new release, Where are we now, as he is said to be a huge fan of the site.
Bowie, who is considered to be rock royalty by many in the showbiz world is said to be "extremely disappointed" by the decision but will continue to read the blog in the future despite the snub. According to the unnamed spokesperson David said "It is a shame to be let down like this on my birthday, it would have been a wonderful present".
David was "openly upset", the spokesperson reported but added that "he's a fighter and he'll bounce back in the future"
You can listen to the song here:


Happy birthday David!

Hats off for Hetty

Hetty H., lead singer with Paekakariki based New Age Folk duo Dovetails, has a landmark birthday today as she hits the big 50. According to our reports however, young Hetty has informed friends and family that she is actually only 25, later adding that this is "in each leg".

Hetty shares her birth date with British comedian Rowan Atkinson, founder of Pink Floyd Syd Barrett, Lebanese-American author of "The Prophet" Kahlil Gibran and historic cross-dresser Joan of Arc.

To cash in on the occasion, unscrupulous Santiago based experimental artist Experiment SH1310 is re-releasing I Like the Way, the visually stunning video single created in collaboration with Ms. H, which has run up more than 74 hits on YouTube (Ed: 75) since its official release in January 2011.


Happy Birthday Hetty, we hope you have a wonderful time.

New Year Resolution N°1

World famous blogspot, Papasgotabrandnewblog, wishes all its readers a wonderful 2013.



Now, if I could only remember my resolutions.........