Travelling minstrel Neil Williams has revealed the harsh truth about his initiation into the world of entertainment and the wicked manager who used to beat him with a stick. Williams, who celebrates his fortieth birthday today, has provided world famous blogspot Papasgotabrandnewblog with photographic proof to back up claims that his former manager forced him to play gruellingly long live concerts under threat of a sound beating. Williams, bills himself as “the Bruce Springsteen of the Cheltenham folk circuit” for his ability to play live sets of 4 or 5 hours without a break.
Williams, who is famed for his ability to segue a large number of songs together seamlessly has been accused of using this as a way of keeping his audience captive rather than captivated. However, the singer claims that this practice harks back to the days when his evil manager would “beat him black and blue” every time he stopped playing. According to an unnamed source, the photograph actually shows Williams being threatened with a beating because he wouldn’t stop singing. The singer vehemently denies this claim and has retorted by saying that this is a rumour being spread by lesser artists who are just jealous of his musical talent.
Today is the last chance for UK readers of world famous blogspot Papasgotabrandnewblog to see top New Zealand actor Ella Double H in her current play Tom Keeper Passes. To catch the final performance of the play, which has been described as a "splendid production" by Laurie Atkinson in The Dominion Post and as "highly recommended" by John Smythe from the New Zealand Theatre Review. The story uses "bee-keeping as a metaphor for human intervention in the natural world" with special attention to the phenomenon of colony collapse disorder(CCD) which has been affecting Bees worldwide since at least 2006.
UK readers wishing to catch the final performance will need to act pretty sharpish as it involves catching a plane which travels the wrong way around the world in order to arrive in Wellington today (Feb 12 down-under) to catch the final performance. When you get there just grab a taxi form Wellington airport and ask the driver to take you to Te Whaea National Dance and Drama Centre which is at 11 Hutchison Road Newtown. Please remember to check ticket availability for the final show as it would be a pity to travel all that way for nothing.
Ms Double H shares some thoughts about the play here: http://tomkeeperpasses.tumblr.com/post/14609547024/community-and-family-ella-h-h And the main page for the production can be found here: http://tomkeeperpasses.tumblr.com/
Given that the theme of the play is bees Papasgotabrandnewblog has been unable to rule out a connection with Bristol juvenile delinquent Honey B. Suspiciously, when questioned about her relationship with the hardened criminal, the young New Zealand actor refused to comment.
World famous blogspot Papasgotabrandnewblog has baffled readers with its lack of news over the last few days. According to a spokesperson for the popular online news site “No news is good news”. Speaking in an exclusive interview with one of its own reporters the award winning blogspot representative made the following statement; “Whilst lack of news is generally seen as a bad thing in the world of blogs and journalism as a whole, we here at Papasgotabrandnewblog hold a futurist view on this matter and our lack of news is part of a worldwide policy towards lack of information. Our lack of news sends out a positive message to our readership that everything is ok and that they can sleep soundly in their beds. While we do hope to report some news in the future we really think it’s best to wait until something good has happened.” Reports from another un-named source that the world famous blogspot had been shut down in connection with the Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA) act appear to be unfounded. “These reports are unfounded.” said the spokesperson, adding “Although this is a British owned blogspot, we’re not all pirates.” (Aye, aye Cap’in)
Today's report is accompanied by a rather nice picture of some street art sighted on the banks of the River Mapocho Santiago, Chile.
World renowned Art Therapist Colin H has been contacted by Bristol Police working on the Bristol Builder Bullies Baby case. According to reports, the artful artist has been asked to interpret the artwork of underage criminal apprentice Honey B who has been identified as the sidekick of arch-villain Geddie H, the Bristol based builder currently being investigated for trying to make his youngest daughter Pixie “disappear” (and we are not talking magic tricks, pulling rabbits from hats or anything of that ilk). Police want the thoughtful therapist to do a “full frontal Freud” on the artwork (above) of Honey B to find out what makes her tic and what makes her tock. Is the problem just her parents winding her up, or is she a time bomb waiting to explode? Readers of world famous blogspot Papasgotabrandnewblog will be the first to get the low down as soon as Colin wobbles his way to work (remember, Colin wobbles but he won’t fall down!). Watch this space!
Despite the “butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth expression” Bristol based builder Geddie H is once again making news for all the wrong reasons. After being caught out trying to swap his newly born daughter for a large plastic gorilla in a Spiderman outfit back in August 2011, the crazy construction boss is now suspected of having carried out two new offences. According to unconfirmed reports, the dodgy dad supposedly tried to suffocate the same daughter involved in the plastic gorilla in a Spiderman outfit swap deal (whose name has been with-held for legal reason) and, additionally, encouraged a minor to participate in a criminal act. The minor in question goes under the moniker of “Honey B” and is non-other than the eldest daughter of the barmy builder. Police are said to be monitoring the situation but claim they are unable to act until “a clear chargeable offence has been committed and/or reported”. As has often been said, a picture says more than a thousand words and world famous blogspot Papasgotabrandnewblog has acquired photographic proof to back up the recent accusations. Not only does our photograph show the moment in which the alleged attempted suffocation took place but it also clearly shows the evil glint in the eyes of Honey B who seems well aware of her father’s wicked intention. Once again unsuspecting Mum Raggs H is nowhere to be seen. Hopefully, this is all the evidence that the police need in order to arrest this cowardly criminal and lock him up for a long, long time. With a bit of luck, there’s still time to save Honey B from choosing a life of crime and cruelty at such a tender age.
Bristol sisters Isla and Amelie won’t let the weather get them down. The sporty twins, who celebrate their birthday today are fighting for the chance to represent their country at bobsleigh at the next Winter Olympics with the help of big sister coach Maya Eve of Destruction. Whilst their plans have been thwarted somewhat by a lack of snow, as our picture shows, they still are going full steam ahead with their training program. Word famous blogspot Papasgotabrandnewblog wishes them many happy safe turns…..er…returns. Go get em girls!
Birthday boy Josh W. a Sports Therapy and Rehabilitation major in the Bristol area successfully defended his World Snogathon title last week in a bout which was specially arranged to herald in the Chinese New Year 2012 - The Year of the Dragon. In this exciting new sport, the opponents have to kiss each other as many times as possible in three 3 minute rounds. Contestants must wear gloves as there is a strictly no groping policy. Points are scored in the following manner: on the cheek - 1pt, on the lips - 2pts, on the mouth with tongue - 3pts. Josh grappled his way to an easy victory but was unable to comment after the bout as his opponent had bitten his tongue to pieces. However, according to an official Snogathon after bout translator Josh said *ai wan a edicate is ictorty uooo mai mudda*
Our world famous blogspot Papasgotabrandnewblog photographer was on hand to record the momentous occasion. The picture above shows Josh moving in for the kill with one of his top moves, the well rehearsed Casanova Cuddle.
World famous blogspot Papasgotabrandnewblog would like to wish its reader(s) an absolutely spiffing start to the Chinese New Year celebrations. The traditional 15 days of fun and merriment kick off today with the new moon and end with the full moon on February 7th.
Reports are coming through that a Bristol housewife operating under the alias of Countess 10,000 has been disqualified from the recently finalised 10,000th hit competition run by world famous blogspot Papasgotabrandnewblog. Apparently the disgraced mother-of-two was disqualified on two accounts. Firstly the despicable person hogged the comments page writing groups of up to 10 comments at a time. Secondly she hired a man known only as “Andres” to fly Chile (South America) with a packet of 160 Tetley tea bags in an attempt to bribe judges into turning a blind eye to her un-sports man woman or Child like behaviour. According to a "very reliable source", the tea bags were dumped unceremoniously on the doorstep of the world famous blogspot’s headquarters along with two miniature chocolate Father Christmases, a tiny woollen Christmas Prairie Rat (!!!!!) and a bribery note (duh!). MORE STARTLING DETAILS ON PAGE 2, 4 & 5 Page 6: MY MOTHER’S A POWER CRAZED DICTATOR by ROBIN A. Page 7: LOLA M. EXCLUSIVE: MY NIGHTS OF HELL WITH A POWER CRAZED DICTATOR Page 8: HEALTH SPECIAL: THE MAGICAL BENEFITS OF EATING SAUSAGES & BLACK PUDDING Page 9: MY PARTNER NEGLECTED HER FAMILY (Shocking interview with Count 10,000) Page 10: MY TWIN SHOULD BE LOCKED UP By QUEEN OF SPADES Page 13: SISTER OF SHAME: A FAMILY SPEAKS OUT Page 14: DIET: 10 SAUCY SAUSAGE & BLACK PUDDING RECIPES Page 15 – 73: SPORT’S NEWS
World famous blogspot Papasgotabrandnewblog is proud to present a world premiere of gynormous proportions with the first public showing of a major new work by Santiago based experimental artist Experiment SH1310. LightseekerZ is a visual feast for the eyes which is loosely connected with various art forms such as computer art, digital art and digital painting. The new piece breaks the mould of the aforementioned digital art movements because it is accompanied by a soundtrack and has been heavily edited. However, according to the artist, the inclusion of a soundtrack is due to the medium of exhibition being used. “Under normal conditions the piece would be played on a continuous loop with only the original audio from the “live” recording which, apart from video editing processes, remains untreated. This in itself breaks some of the rules of other digital art forms as they increasingly tend to be silent footage. However, my way of working often involves layers of ambient sound such as those found at the beginning of the piece being presented here. Given the fact that this version of LightseekerZ is being exhibited on an online platform I thought it only fitting that it should be accompanied by an appropriate soundtrack. “ This exclusive premiere is part of world famous blogspot Papasgotabrandnewblog’s 10,000th hit celebrations which, although being carefully prepared to coincide with the start of the Chinese Year of the Dragon which begins on January 23rd, is likely to occur in the next few days, thus jumping the gun by approximately one week. The soundtrack is an original creation featuring cult Paekakariki based songstress Hetty Hope who is one half of legendary New Zealand based duo Dovetails.
Editor's note: Due to page width restrictions the video is not viewable in its full glory. Please paste: http://www.youtube.com/embed/AQsVEl6k7qQ into a new tab, turm up the volume, switch off the lights and enjoy.
Police are treating the disappearance of world famous blogspot Papasgotabrandnewblog’s 10,000th hit secret prize as highly suspicious. A police spokesperson has gone on record as having said “the disappearance of world famous blogspot Papasgotabrandnewblog’s 10,000th hit secret prize is highly suspicious.” Apparently, police plans for a massive hunt have gone awry because they have no idea what they are looking for. The secret prize, which was only announced recently, was actually so secret that nobody had actually heard of it (prior to a recent posting on the world famous blogspot), or knows what it is. This seems to be the main reason why police are treating the disappearance as suspicious. A high ranking police official who refused to be named stated that “the disappearance of a item of this nature obviously arouses our suspicion and although we’ll do our best to recover the item before the up and coming award date this task is hindered by the fact that we have no idea what we’re looking for.” Whilst rumors of a reward appear to be unfounded, police are appealing to the public for assistance in recovering the prize. Staff at world famous blogspot Papasgotabrandnewblog were unavailable for comment with all personal associated with the world famous blogspot remaining tight-lipped.
As the big day approaches, the reader (s) of world famous blogspot Papasgotabrandnewblog wait bated breath to discover who will win the secret prize for the 10,000th Papasgotabrandnewblog page hit. The prize is, in fact, so secret that nobody has actually heard of it, knows what it is, or who, for that matter, will be awarding it. Is it fact, fiction, rumour or just plain gossip? Nobody knows for sure, however, everybody knows that only one person will see the big hit number 10,000: The visitor before will get 9999, the visitor after 10,001. Furthermore, what will happen to the 4 digit counter? Will it miraculously grow a fifth digit or will it revert back to 0001. Watch this space: All will be revealed.
Dave's having a big bash at his place. He's invited us all over. Try to arrive before 9pm or there won't be any parking space. Ps. Bring booze and something to nibble.
World famous blogspot pasgotabrandnewblog has decided to be doubly devious during 2012. Today’s post will push the majority of its readers into future time-space by sending out birthday greetings to Hetty Hope, lead singer with down-under psychedelic folk duo Dovetails, on the day of her birthday according to the NZ time zone without telling her first. By the time the unwitting warbler logs on to check her birthday hits, under the assumption that the traditional greetings will arrive according to Chilean time, the post will already be yesterday’s news.
Smash! Pow! Whallop! That is a dastardly deed done daringly.
PGABNBP – tomorrow’s news today! Remember, you heard it here first. Happy Birthday Hets!
Intrepid explorers Karoli & Neil spent New Year's Day walking the rainy windswept streets of Central London in order to report that all is well for Papasgotabrandnewblog's travelling news agency. The proof is in the pudding.
Although world famous blogspot Papasgotabrandnewblog follows the Chinese New Year tradition with more interest than the Roman calendar, midnight on December 31st is still a good date to chase out the ghosts, turn over those new leaves, and reflect on the last 12 months. In terms of news, the first "scoop" of the year "Blog Editor to Sack Himself" wasn't even true but still managed to clock up a healthy 17 comments. This out-did the number for an original photo of a captive cheetah from Wellington Zoo which managed a measly 2 comments. Funnily enough, this is the same number as the epic photo piece "A Family Affair" (March) and the PGABNB endorsement of Naturally Fresh Deodorant Crystal (May. Obviously, the year was dominated by The Royal Wedding (April thru July) and a number of new arrivals in the shape of Amelie, Isla & Pixie (although despite the coverage these and other youngsters received they haven't repaid it with a single comment!). 2011 was definitely video year: Joe C set the ball rolling back in February, followed by Experiment SH1310 in March & Bristol based artist Colin H in June. Further videos made the Papasgotabrandnewblog pages in July/August in the shape of The Wedding We'll Never See by up and coming New Zealand outfit the Hope Higgies, and the Danny & the Uncles White Wedding (Watch Out!) video single, both Royal Wedding tributes. Another 3 videos; Freight Train Demo - in August - Kat Eyes and Diamonds - in September all by experimental musician Experiment SH1310, failed to capture the public's attention amassing an embarrassing 9 comments in total. Arguably the most shocking story of the year was Bristol Toddler Exchanges New Sister For Gorilla Spiderman, a saga that kept the public enthralled during the latter days of the British summer. As always there were a lot of birthdays which were generally celebrated on the corresponding date despite the occasional editorial hiccup. The Seven Year's Hitched anniversary post with original prose was deemed uncommentworthy by the majority of the PGABNB readership with only 5 comments including a rather nasty one from, we suspect, a Mr Pepe Idontkerr, a notorious old-school school teacher in the Barrow-in-Furness region who delights in bullying his pupils (so much so that he is reported to be cross-eyed). The most depressing point of the year for the PGABNB team was the lack of comments on September's One of those days post. The call for musical relief and enlightenment pulled in a solitary comment (obviously coming from full time comment writer Ms Bird from Bristol who constantly keeps the comment flag flying). The Papasgotabrandnewblog editor was particularly cut up by November's Blog Edit Knifed report, not in the least because it should have read Blog Editor Knifed but you just can't find decent staff these days. All in all, from a blog point of view this was a bit of an Annus Horribilis (especially for comments) and we are quite happy to see the back of it. Furthermore, to end on a low point, Papasgotabrandnewblog didn't hit the 10,000 hit mark. However, looking on the bright side, there's still the chance of getting there before the Chinese New Year which starts on Jan 23rd. Get those fingers clicking!! You can begin now by voting for post of the year! This post is accompanied by a not-quite-finished-yet, never-seen-before, nonsense experimental video project called LightseekerZ
Bristol builder Geddie H has blasted world famous blogspot Papasgotabrandnewblog for allegedly missing his birthday. The irate handyman claims that the lack of birthday coverage was a deliberate blight on his good character and is looking into the possibility of taking legal action against the popular online internet site which has notched up close to 9,400 hits since its humble beginnings back in 2006. “I’m getting sick of this” said the fuming father-of-two. “Just because my birthday is close to Christmas people think they can get away with giving me just one greeting and one present” he added. “This has been going on since day one and it’s got to stop. Even my daughters get more coverage than I do and it’s not fair” a frustrated Geddie is claimed to have said. Apparently, the barmy builder is also annoyed at a recent comment about his eldest daughter’s rendition of “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star” on a well known social network site. “If it’s good enough for Simon Cowell, it should be good enough for some poxy blog reporter with deaf ears” he reportedly ranted and raged. When quizzed on the lack of birthday greeting, a spokesperson for world famous blogspot Papasgotabrandnewblog could muster no more than a puzzled “Geddie who?”
Lord Clibery of Clifton celebrates his 140th birthday today. We send him a special papasgotabrandnewblog birthday greeting. When asked about the secret behind his longevity the lazy Lord replied that if one wants to live to a ripe old age one should marry a supermum (or two!). Apparently, one marries the second one when the first one has worked herself to death.
Supermun Lucy Clibery is celebrating her birthday today despite feeling a little run down. Apparently one of her “darling creatures” put Green Kryptonite in the butter-dish yesterday prompting a “wiped out” comment on facebuck. At the time of going to press world famous blogspot papasgotabrandnewblog is unsure whether it’s Supermum Lucy herself who was wiped out or whether she took revenge on the naughty nippers and showed them who runs the roost. Either way, we wish her all the best and hope she has a wonderful day. Today’s birthday themed photo shows Lucy’s brother Ollie trying to demonstrate his own superpowers by eating a violin in order to thwart a group of dangerous criminal types whilst his supermum sister looks on and offers superhero type tips.
Florence Nightingale impersonator, Bea J, is up to her old tricks again. This time she's gone and got herself trapped in a reflection. As always, world famous blogspot Papasgotabrandnewblog was on hand to call the Fire Brigade.
Super Gran Terri C (otherwise known as the Big Boss of the notorious Higginson Clan) celebrates her birthday today. World famous blogspot Papasgotabrandnewblog pays its respects and wishes her a wonderful, fantabulous, fun-filled day.
The editor of world famous blogspot papasgotabrandnewblog is set to go under the knife this Wednesday at about 19.00 (Chilean time) in a daring attempt to get in shape to play for the Great Britain Football team in the London Olympics 2012. After hearing the news that a GB team would be entering the competition the Welsh born central midfielder decided to come to his nation's aid and make sure Blighty wins the gold. The first stage of the comeback is a double inginal hernia op that should see "The Duracell" back in business in a matter of weeks. Let's hope nothing goes amiss! You all know what happened to Stevie G.
Although sometimes things may go amiss, its been seven years of wedded bliss. Through thick and thin, through good & bad, I thank you for the fun we've had.
Thank you my darling moonshine. I love you.
(Editor's note: Normal service will be resumed shortly)
News has been leaked to world famous blogspot papasgotabrandnewblog that British scientists working in the Bristol area are close to harnessing a new power source that they believe will be the answer to World energy problems. According to reports, the energy is produced by a young girl called Maya Eve of Destruction who celebrated her 3rd birthday at the weekend. Apparently, Maya is constantly vibrating, even when sleeping, and this process creates huge amounts of energy which the toddler then releases during her waking hours by zipping about the place in a manner which can only be described as a “Duracell bunny on fast-forward.” Papasgotabrandnewblog tried to interview the nifty nipper on her birthday but her exhausted parents were unable to get the youngster to standstill for more than a millisecond. Likewise, papasgotabrandnewblog’s top photographer was unable to get a decent shot of the charming child. A spokesman for the team of scientist stated that although they have had difficulty keeping up with the tiny tot they hope to make a breakthrough in the coming weeks and find a way to extract and store little Maya's energy.
October is now well and truely re-named the birthday month. Only halfway through and already the pages of world famous blogspot papasgotabrandnewblog are awash with bithday greetings. Today we send out a big birthday blogwish to Dan, Dan the family man who was XYZ years old yesterday:)
